A new religion has emerged from the social liberalism that is now dominating the Democratic Party in the United States. “Govocracy” is a theocratic religion that establishes the federal government (including all three branches) as the Supreme Provider for the people. The founding of the religion is based on this declaration, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Government with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Job Security, Entitlements and the pursuit of Universal Health Care. Therefore, ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country can do for you.”

The Sacred Canons of Govocracy:

·       The Government is responsible for providing all the basic living needs for its citizens if they can’t, or won’t, provide for themselves, including food, shelter, clothing, transportation, jobs, health care, education, insurance, retirement funding and Internet access.

·       The Rich must be taxed as much as necessary to pay for the basic living needs of those who are not so fortunate.

·       All those immigrating to this country, whether legally or illegally, must be given the same basic living needs as all other citizens.

·       Big Corporations are inherently greedy and must be tightly regulated and heavily taxed by the Government.

·       The planet is fragile and the Government must protect it at all costs through environmental regulation, taxation and lower standards of living.

·       The Constitution does not directly address modern day social issues and must be interpreted and adapted by liberal judges.

·       There must be a total separation of Government functions and all spiritual religions, except for Islam since they have a terrorist faction that may kill us if we don’t accommodate them.

·       The States and local communities must not be able to pass laws that deal with social issues such as marriage, abortion, homosexuality, religion and sex education, as the people cannot be trusted to make the morally correct decision.

·       The military should only be used to protect the country when an attack occurs and it should not be used to make a preventive attack or liberate a country from a totalitarian regime.

·       The United States will be liked by the rest of the world and terrorist attacks will end when this country stops acting like a big powerful arrogant bully.

·       The United States is only worthy of our patriotism when Government is controlled by Democrats.

Position on Heresy and Blasphemy:

Anyone who expresses conservative political views is committing heresy. Also, those who support the people who commit heresy are guilty of heresy. The groups most likely to spread heresies about the Government are the Republican voters, the Rich, evangelical Christians, corporate executives, conservative talk show hosts, anti-abortionists and, especially, Republican politicians. However, be aware that there are heretics and blasphemers within our midst as well. They must be uncovered and exposed for who they really are (e.g. Joe Lieberman, a.k.a. Judas Lieberman).

Blasphemers and heretics are a threat to Almighty Government and our American way of life and must be politically destroyed. The teachings of Govocracy support a moral relativism whereby name-calling, character assassinations, false accusations, voter fraud, vandalism and other illegal actions can be morally justified if they are committed against blasphemers and heretics. If you also belong to a spiritual religion, know that God will forgive you for the sins you commit to help Her anointed servant on earth – Lord Government. There will be a place for you in heaven (and, depending on your religion, maybe 72 virgins also).

It must be the mission of all the faithful to defeat conservative heresy at every turn. Do not merely rely on having enough votes from other enlightened ones to win elections. Ensure that all Republican candidates are made unelectable, no matter what it takes. Also, finding ways to keep Republican voters from the polls is highly encouraged.

When a Republican becomes President (Government forbid!), members must sacrifice personally to wreck the country enough so that the President is removed from office, or at least loses the next election. If the country is at war, we need to do everything we can to discredit the mission, even if it means military defeat. If the economy is faltering, we must try to push it over the edge. Although this may cause you pain in your personal life, you need to do it for the Greater Cause.

You must also do all you can to minimize, hide, distract from, obfuscate and ignore personal failings of Democratic candidates. Many of our members have been adulterers, taken bribes, complied with lobbyist demands and committed various illegal acts. We must immediately forgive them and stand up to any attacks made towards our candidates on account of these issues. Ensuring that these Democrats obtain office, or stay in office, is morally justified, no matter what kind of sin they committed.

Excerpts from the gospel texts on the recent titular heads of Government: Ronald, George I, William and George II.

The Gospel of Ronald

Democrats wandered in the wilderness for a dozen years starting with Ronald. He invited nuclear war by calling the Soviet Union the “evil empire” and building up our nuclear weapon supply. Fortunately for the United States, the Soviet economy had some problems and they had to give up on mutually-assured destruction (MAD). Ronald cut taxes for the Rich and cut off entitlement programs for the needy. He increased the national debt so that it became a burden on future generations. While there were some additional jobs created, they were mainly hamburger-flipping jobs that didn’t pay enough to make a living from.

Heresy spoken by Ronald Reagan:

“The nine most terrifying words in the English language are; I'm from the Government and I'm here to help.”

“The Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

“The best minds are not in Government. If any were, business would hire them away.”

“Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States.”

The Gospel of George I

Although he represented another four years of Republican rule, the first Bush did minimal damage to the country. He freed Kuwait from Saddam Hussein, but didn’t try to remove the Hussein regime. He also raised income tax rates on the Rich, despite pledging not to.

Heresy spoken by George Bush I:

“Read my lips--NO NEW TAXES!”

“Obviously no country can claim a special place in God's heart, yet we are better as a people because He has a special place in ours...I want to thank you for helping America, as Christ ordained, to be a light unto the world...”

“I believe with all my heart that one cannot be America's president without a belief in God, without the strength that your faith gives you.”

“No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.”

The Gospel of William

The man from Hope led the Democrats out of the wilderness and retook control of the White House. He was the first intellectual President in modern time and won two terms because he could feel the people’s pain. With his Vice President having created the Internet and companies flocking there to do business, Clinton raised taxes that resulted in budget surpluses. The surpluses helped pay down the national debt that had been expanded by the Reagan administration. Clinton, unfortunately, was weak in his faith and he succumbed to the Republicans in welfare reform, NAFTA and had a failed attempt at universal health care. He also had a taste for the ladies, which the Republicans used to distract him from the nation’s business by putting him through bogus impeachment hearings.

The Teachings of William Clinton:

“We will lower the tax burden on middle-class Americans by asking the very wealthy to pay their fair share.”

“George Bush has raised taxes on the people driving pickup trucks and lowered taxes on the people riding in limousines. We can do better.”

“We have to ask the wealthiest Americans to pay their fair share again. Their incomes went up in the 1980s and their taxes went down. We can't ask the middle class to pay more; their incomes went down and their taxes went up.”

“Opportunity for all means making taxes fair. I'm not out to soak the rich. But I do believe the rich should pay their fair share. For twelve years, the Republicans have raised taxes on the middle class. It's time to give the middle class tax relief.”

The Gospel of George II

The son of George I is the worst and most evil President in history. He and his Vice President were modern day oil barons who sought office for the sole purpose of going to war in the Middle East to set it up for their oil buddies take over the oil wells and get richer. He should have lost his first term election, but the conservative-dominated Supreme Court stopped the Florida recount and gave him the victory. Once he took office, he planned the 9/11 attacks and parlayed them into attacking Iraq based on lies about Saddam Hussein’s involvement with the attack and the stockpile of WMD that he had in Iraq. Then he gave Halliburton a no-bid contract in Iraq so they could take the oil. He developed the Patriot Act to take away the privacy rights of American citizens. He tortured Muslims and put them in prisons where their rights to due process were taken away. He violated the law when he started illegally wiretapping innocent citizens. He is guilty of war crimes and should have been impeached.  He duped Congress into lowering income taxes on the Rich which caused huge deficits. He also supported Republican deregulation which caused the financial crisis of 2008.

Heresy spoken by George Bush II:

“We have learned that terrorist attacks are not caused by the use of strength; they are invited by the perception of weakness. And the surest way to avoid attacks on our own people is to engage the enemy where he lives and plans. We are fighting that enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan today so that we do not meet him again on our own streets, in our own cities.”

“Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.”

“States should have the right to enact... laws...particularly to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that otherwise could live.”

“You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.”

“They want the federal Government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.”

“The case for trade is not just monetary, but moral. Economic freedom creates habits of liberty. And habits of liberty create expectations of democracy.”

Prophecy for the next Gospel:

"Now it shall come to pass in the final days of George the Worst, a young man with inspirational oratory skills and dark skin will rise to the height of Democratic politics. The Anointed One will enter on a platform of hope and change and the masses will flock to bear witness to His message.  Behold, He will be great and will be called the Transcender of Race, the Hope We Can Believe In and the One We Have Been Waiting For. His name will be written as Barack, but His adoring disciples will shout “OBAMA!” He will have the power to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless, to slow the rise of the oceans and heal our planet, to end a war and secure our nation and to restore our image as the last, best hope on earth. But, upon this Good News, a dire warning follows: evil Republicans will mock the Messiah, defame His name and call Him the Inexperienced One, Too Liberal and Not Ready to Lead. He will enter the political arena to battle the Republican whom we call George III, although his name is written as John.”

The Lord Government’s Prayer

"Our Mother, which art in Washington,

Government be thy Name.

Thy handouts come,

Thy will be done, in America as it is in Sweden.

Give us every day our loaf of bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we destroy those that trespass against us.

And lead us not into free markets,

But deliver us from capitalism.

For thine are entitlements, and the power, and the taxes, for ever and ever. Amen”

Position on National Holidays

Govocracy proposes the elimination of Good Friday/Easter and Christmas based on the separation of church and state described in the First Amendment.

To replace them, we propose adding the following:

Worship services are held around the clock on blog sites and on talk radio. Go to Internet sites such as www.dailykos.com, www.moveon.org and airamerica.com to dialogue with other Govocrats and hear the gospel teachings of some of the top preachers in the country.

Also, make sure you get your wristband with “WWGD” (What Would Government Do?) inscribed on it. It comes in all the colors of the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition and it will help you identify other Govocrats that you encounter in your daily life ($.99 + $5.00 tax donation at www.govocracy.org).

Blogger Note: I am a Govocracy heretic and have published a couple of posts from my Townhall site on the Daily Kos website (I’m a glutton for punishment). If you are curious how Govocrats respond to conservative heresy, feel free to check out the comments made to my posts (known as diaries):  http://www.dailykos.com/user/MikeMN - WARNING: X-rated language!